According to the American Psychiatric Association, dissociation is characterized by the disruption of the experience of consciousness, memory, identity, emotion, and behavior. It exists on a spectrum from non-pathological to pathological behaviors. Daydreaming is a simple example of dissociation, but carried to the extreme it can become a disorder. Dissociative disorders are associated with a high burden of illness and a poor quality of life. More research needs to be conducted to better understand treatment pathways, but I believe games give our consciousness a reason to come home.
Games actualize the fantasies we are already playing out in our heads. We passively watch fantasy television & movies like Game of Thrones & Dune. That time can be spent actively engaging in the dream. A board game quickly gaining popularity is Dune Imperium by Dire Wolf Digital, where you can play as Timmy Chally or Zendaya in your own right to take over the sandverse with your legion of minions. Something like that.
If we are already fantasizing about grand adventures, let’s play them out on a physical realm of existence, the table. Here, our fantasies & reality crossover as we become true tabletop legends.
You must be present to play well. Being distracted by life’s 10,000 other obligations will likely lead to losing the game. Hopefully, the incentive to win is enough to fully engage the mind in the moment. The will to win & competitive natures differ from person to person. Those that deal with dissociation may be conditioned to not even want to win from life experiences that feel like guaranteed losses. Let’s be real, I am talking about abusive relationship dynamics. To most, home is considered a happy place. To some, as soon as they walk through the door everything is out of their control. Stress responses train the body for fight or flight in these situations. When these options aren’t practical, the mind will take over to act like you don’t care or aren’t there. In more clinical terms this is depersonalization & derealization. These are the fawning & freezing responses that characterize dissociation.
The activity of gameplay can restore faith in engagement systems. Fairness is implied in gameplay, but also clearly, explicitly written in the rules. If a violation occurs, a player can refer to the rules to confirm it. If a violation in family interaction occurs, the solution may not be as clear. If you are playing a game with a habitual cheater, you can choose not to play with that person again. Families don’t exactly work that way. The ‘not play with them’ option may mean to end the relationship.
Playing a game of Connect 4 won’t resolve years of family trauma & abuse. It’s a baby step at best to bring someone back to a fair reality. Winning isn’t even necessary for this to happen. The process of accepting to play a game, playing by the rules, then losing according to those rules can help someone believe in a system that at least makes sense. That is the closest to home I’ve ever felt.
