War of the Roses
All the King's Horses & All the King's Men couldn't stop us from being best friends.
Once upon the ages a young man named Skeet leased himself into the corner side of a castle in the outskirts of Nottingham Forest. The Skeet, former King’s Knight, was granted privilege for favorable service to his lord to relocate his dwellings to noble estate. Young Skeet called upon the assistance of the most notorious guild in all of the land for the task of transporting his ownings : The Stoners.
Olaf the Wise, a hefty & foul-mouthed fellow with a formidable scent, was the leader of this group. He rode a Harley. Because he was badass. The two other members of the crew were Hamburger (one who favors introspection) and Mr. Bones. Mr. Bones served by swagger.
After the Stoners completed their mission of delivering all of young Skeet’s belongings, they sat down to do what they do best—that is smoke. Upon this momentous occasion of Young Skeet claiming his mighty castle in the great land of England, Olaf the Wise bestowed him with the Bong of Truth and Power (a.k.a. The BTP). As the group partook, they encountered the problem of the bowl piece not fitting properly into the downstem. Truth be told, Olaf was aware of this problem and that was partly why he was giving the Bong away.
“Alas!,” Olaf exclaimed. “This is a disgrace to ourselves, our family, and the Shaolin Temple. I shall depart to the headshop to correct this shame and return Post Haste!”
Olaf left with the bong in his bag and the Stoners could hear him rev his engine, peel out, take off, wreck, and then after about a minute, Olaf marched back up to and through the door.
“That didn’t take long,” Hamburger keenly noticed.
“Failure! Absolute Failure!” Olaf lamented.
“How so?” Mr. Bones inquired.
“You see; what had happened was, as soon as I pulled out of the driveway - this asshole next door was backing out of his with a horse and carriage. I smack into it. Destroyed it beyond recognition. Said asshole roles out. His horse runs off. And to be honest, the Harley was not in too bad a shape. So asshole gets up, dusts himself off and says all high & mighty like ‘HOW DARE YOU!’ So I told him ever so politely ‘EAT A DICK!’ Asshole asks me ‘DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!’ My respectful retort - ‘I bet you think you are the King of England with your horse and carriage and fitted pants.’ Not so humbly he had to tell me. . . in fact he was the King of England.
“Long story short the King of England and his army challenged us to a battle on the beach in like 5 minutes. By the way Skeet, I’m sorry.” Olaf said as he reached into his bag and pulled out the BTP all chipped and cracked, but not broken.
“Let’s Roll!”
Olaf, Hamburger, and Mr. Bones headed off to battle.
“Wait, not yet,” Skeet said as he inspected the bong, but it was too late.
So Skeet packed a fat bowl before he left. He looked for the lighter for about a minute. Hamburger must have pocketed it. So Skeet left, bong in hand to the beach. He saw the crew right at the tide. They were surrounded on all sides by this Grand Army. The front ranks had flaming arrows. Young Skeet lit the bowl from one that was preparing to fire. He met the crew right near the water and hit the bong, then passed it to Olaf, who hit it and soon passed it to Hamburger, who hit it and soon passed it to Mr. Bones. Bonesy finished it.
“Thanks for helping me out guys.”
“No problem,” Olaf answered for the guild.
The King’s Army released their arrows.
Burger thought the sky looked like Starry Night.
Van Gogh’s Starry Night.
Think about it.
AMAZING 💗😭💌